FJ Cruiser Brakes are Crap TOO!

For the record, Toyota Corp,  I took my FJ Cruiser in for emergency servicing when it would NOT stop when I tried to brake going down hill and I slid through an intersection. It was over  a bumpy patch of road and the brakes just would not engage.  I was told the car was fine and that I need to press the pedal harder.  Um, WTF? I have been driving for 22 years, I know how to use a brake pedal.

Very glad I sold it and now drive a Volvo.

Gruesome

• My last day of work is Wednesday!!!!  We’ve all agreed to lay me off until things pick up again.  It’s too slow to warrant paying me.  That’s fine with me. I’m too busy outside of work to deal with staring at a wall 3 days per week.
• In the interim, I am the Kitchen Renovation Goddess!  It’s totally gutted.  Our days are non-stop kitchen issues. Plumbers, electricians, beams, fixtures, tiles, endless measuring, etc. Mind you I am speaking of K, not me.  He is nearly hyperventilating all the time over all of the details. He loves it and literally is a man obsessed beyond description.  It’s fine with me.  I’m a big picture kind of gal. Don’t want to talk about cabinet hardware for hours on end!
• Went to the gyno for the annual check up today.  He finished up the exam with the much dreaded ass check. Well people, he broke it.  It’s been bleeding (lightly) for 4 hours now. Prior to the ass check he did a uterine lining biopsy that he was worried would be super painful.  Um, anyone that has ever had a cramp would be unimpressed by this procedure. The ASS CHECK THOUGH??? ohmyf’inggosh.  I nearly hit the ceiling. I was seeing stars by the time he left the exam room and not in a good way.  My poor pooper. It’s busted.
• In a twist of twisted irony, I am going on the pill to try to curb my womanly monthly flow.  Infertile. On the pill. Forty years old.  Boooya.
• I’m all super charged about exercising and have been enjoying it. Woohoo. Starting a pilates class on Thursday. Hope I don’t fart on the machine. Haa! That happens when your ass is broken.

Peace out. And enjoy your rear end. Be good to it and it will be good to you.

Unfortunate Epiphany

All of these decades where I have soul searched about what I want to do work-wise….  so much time and hand wringing angst over career paths.   It finally occured to me last week that ………  ta dum!………..  I actually don’t want to work.  I want to not work and not even think about making money.  That must be why I cannot find something I want to do. 

Why oh why do I not have  a trust fund??? Hmmm?  

Shit.

Want to Sh*t Your Pants?

http://slobbertrauma.blogspot.com/2009/10/novosibirsk-crematorium.html

Cranky, Petulant Rant

• It’s pitch black, pouring rain and howling wind.
• I have to go to work in this deluge
• My job is beyond pathetic.  NO SALES whatsoever. The idea of making the commission is a joke because there is no possible way in this economy to make that possible. So I sit for 3 days per week and stare at the wall because my efforts to this point have resulted in NOTHING.  Then, I collect a measly paycheck that is barely worth my time in being there.  That said, I do need to cover some of my bills and this is ok and I probably should not complain. Except that I am extremely bored.
• K and I got into it last night. He is totally OCD about the kitchen renovation. It is all he wants to talk about. Every single inch of that kitchen, in great detail. I can’t take it. I mean, I am thrilled he is so involved but at a certain point, I need to not talk about it. If there is a point I feel strongly about I literally have to throw a fit to make an impact on him that I am serious and do not want that particular item messed with.  Otherwise, I get steamrolled.
• At night I put a big quilt on top of our bedding and Violet and Auggie come up for a snuggle before we go to bed. He has put his foot down, doesn’t want them up there anymore, even if he is not in the room.  It pisses me off. He thinks they are houseplants and don’t need attention.
• K’s son in moving in with us again this weekend.  Not sure why, he is a big boy now, with a big boy salary and our house is almost a two hour commute from his job.  I’m trying to put this out of my mind. I want my house to ourselves.

On the Up side:

• I’m healthy.
• Beyond blessed.
• Lucky.
• Happy despite my grumbling.

Gah! Have to get ready for my stupid job.

Who Needs Oprah?

I have become obsessed with online reviews and I was thinking I should share my most favorite products because some of them came to me via much trial and error. Without further adieu:

• Klorane Gentle Dry Shampoo with Oat Extract.  See, I hate washing my hair because it takes eons to dry it. Plus, with all the hairdye, the additional time under seering heat makes it really damaged. But the truth is, I’m lazy and prefer to dry it only 2 or 3 times per week. That said, I don’t want to look like a sleezeball in the interim.  You spray this stuff along your hairline and wherever else it is looking less-than-fresh, let is sit a few minutes, rub it in with fingers, then brush it through and *POOF*, lovely hair!  I heart this stuff. It’s fab.

 

• Big Sexy Hair Citrus Body Scrub. 
• I bought this for $3.99 at TJ Max and had very low expectations. The name alone put me off. Big Sexy Hair??? Wtf?  Well, knock me over!! It’s foamy and scrubby and absolutely delish!! I feel clean and smooth and zippy when I use this stuff. The scent is just right, not too light, not too strong. LOVE it!

 

• Kindle!!! I was on the fence about this item but K bought me one for Christmas and it is my new favorite thing. I bought the adorable red cover/travel case for it. It is sooo easy to navigate, it is a pleasure to just lay there and click the pages on by.  Currently I am reading Affinity by Sarah Waters on it. It is very convenient to just throw it in my purse and bring it wherever I go (although I would do this with a book too). Just saying I love it.  Now if only I could figure out how to read it at work without getting caught.

 

• Easiyo, my Greek yogurt maker! I bought this on Amazon so I could keep tracked of the source of dairy that I consume. I have slid back on my veganism and am now eating eggs and yogurt. So sue me. I cannot give up these two items but I am still trying to be very thoughtful about where my dairy products come from. This was my compromise since I can’t find  info about the dairy farms that produce my beloved Fage yogurt.  So I bought this thing and it is super duper but after all of that I still cannot trace the history of my yogurt because while I make it myself, I have to use their packets of cultures and powder milk, etc.  It is no cheaper to eat Greek yogurt this way either although it is thick and yummy and very fresh tasting.  Plus, it could not be any easier, put the stuff in and let it sit basically.

This is all I’ve got for now. Not exactly a comprehensive list. There is more to come people, for instance my new vitamins that are really helping out my brittle sad fingernails. My heel cream, (whoa! now that is interesting!).  The BEST doggie ear cleaner for infected doggy ears. And much, much more.

Please try to contain yourself. I’ll be back soon with more of my beloved products. And a sneak preview of the kitchen renovation….

xx

Food Bullets

Seriously ignore this post, unless you are into self induglent drivel. I’m trying to sort out my obsession with food, the food industry, what is healthy, what is ethical, etc. It is all very, very confusing although eating is such a basic thing, it should be very simple. Anyway–

• I am a lucky, lucky person that I can sit here and mull over what I want to eat, when I want to eat it and where I want to buy it. So for starters I *get* that.
• That said, there is so much governmental interference in the production of our food from lobbyists to the FDA–  I don’t feel even remotely confident that they make decisions based on what is healthy. They are motivated by many other issues than our health.
• I’d love to eat organic but I don’t believe the marketing spin that 99% of the companies that sell organic deliver. For instance, for hens to be called “cage free” means only they some access to the outdoors. It doesn’t mean chickens living in clean, ideal conditions by any stretch.
• Whole Foods is selling a big, fat fantasy. It is selling the idea of days gone by, where people were more in touch with the origins of their food, with the idea of purity of their food. Whole Foods doesn’t deal with small farmers anymore, they cannot because the system is too big now. They deal with the massive corporate farms. Not so different than the other grocery stores. The label “organic” is stretched many different ways.
• For me, the best notion at this point is to shop farmers markets. The route with the least involvement from outside intrusions and manipulation. However, it is expensive and very inconvenient to shop farmers markets.
• Having little to no problems not eating meat, chicken fish or dairy.  Am missing eggs, big time. May buy these at a local chicken farm. Maybe not. Also missing Greek yogurt big time. Bought a little machine to make my own–not that it spares me from having to purchase milk though. Still figuring that one out.
• Needing to get to the point where it is second nature to not eat these things. Substitutions for breakfast are the most dire. Oatmeal is fine but I really like protein for breakfast.  Nearly all of it is gone from the house except for some chicken breasts and a huge pork loin and the boys will eat one of these days.
• In general I feel far lighter and cleaner internally (totally retarded sounding) I don’t have that awful sluggish feeling so much– digestively speaking.

Thankfully Champagne is still on my list–haha! So Happy New Year to you, especially if you’ve made it this far.

Resolutions

I’m sure if I looked back to last year the list is practically identical, but here it is nonetheless!

1. STOP spending money.  I have been on an unprecedented spending spree for about 6 months now. I have not been getting into debt over any of it but still…the truth is I don’t NEED anything.  I am utterly addicted to buying on amazon and it is becoming a daily event, even if it is just a bottle of nail polish. It is getting obscene.
2. Food. Continue to be invested emotionally in what I am taking into my body.  So far no meat for about 6 weeks. Very little dairy and no eggs either.  Continue to read and learn about food sources, nutrition, ethics. Be more diligent about menu planning and preparing.
3. Exercise 3 times per week, at the least. Rejoined the gym in order to make this plausible and got a good deal on the monthly fee.
4. Finish Auggie’s therapy dog training and make a weekly or bi weekly visit with him as part of my routine.
5. Keep reading, reading, reading!

Not a very ambitious list, but these are the things that rise to the surface when I consider what I want to work on this year.

Having a post holiday slump. I don’t enjoy this week inbetween Xmas and New Years. It feels like no mans land. I like the fresh start of the New Year. It will be here soon enough.

Cheers to one and all.

Sea of Love

Can I just say it without fear of reprisal or jinxation? I am the happiest, most content, most even keeled I have ever been in my life. I’d say most days I rate a solid 9.5 and for me that is basically a first. The thing is intellectually I have always known how blessed I am, how insanely lucky, how fortunate. I really do know that deep down. However, I have spent decades swimming around in an unidentifiable sadness. One that colors all of the good into a muddy, rainy day. I have honey in my veins. Such is the goodness of chemistry. I am so entirely thankful to feel this way. I think THIS is my natural state, it isn’t inducing false senses, it is eliciting what is already within me but has been bogged under bad brain chemistry. Hallelujah for that.

The only downside is that I am gaining weight at an unprecedented, alarming rate. It is indeed a big negative of the meds. I don’t care enough yet to stop. I feel too good.

Here are a few items for your consideration:

• Our regional newspaper called me yesterday and interviewed me for 40 minutes about Aging in Place design. I was really quite dumbfounded about it, excited to but basically dumbfounded. I guess there is going to be an article in early January about the movement (not about me– haha, I have not turned into that much of a megalomaniac yet). Pretty cool anyway!
• I have joined forces with two girlfriends that have a prosperous business doing professional organizing. They have a lot of requests for interior design work and really it all sort of dovetails anyway. I have my first client already and am doing this in conjunction with the other job. It’s all good, feeling very excited about this.
• Just about to start reading The Help….anyone read this yet?
• Despite my euphoria, my grief over my Dad is still in there. I had a very odd dream where I was crying about his death and could feel the saddness just envelop me in my sleep. I guess it needs to come out somewhere….I still can’t believe it is real.
• We are just starting to prepare for our kitchen renovation. No meds on the planet can make me want to do this. I know this is going to be utterly horrendous but it is a necessity so foward we march. I’m kind of kicking and screaming about it, really really want to not deal with it.

I think that is it for now. I am wishing everyone a warm, yummy weekend of pre holiday goodness.

Cheers.

Behold!

Our dinner menu for this week:

• Black bean and butternut squash buritos
• Spinach and mushroom lasagna
• Heart Mac N Cheese

These three recipes are from this blog which will make your mouth water, no two ways about it!  Seriously, just look at the recipe on that home page for Veggie pot pie with pumpkin biscuit topping….  it’s heavenly looking.

The truth of the matter is we are doing this fat free vegan diet for dinners for a month or two because quite simply I am grasping at straws. K’s shirt buttons are about to burst open as are my jeans– something has to happen. The key to why I think this will work is that it isn’t simply veggie but it is also fat free……….  so in my mind, it’s got to work. There is just no way for it not too.  I am also preparing K’s breakfast so he is only left to his own devices for one meal per day.  I know this sounds uber controlling but the dude works like a maniac and has no additional bandwith to deal with figuring out what to eat.  I don’t entirely believe that but it’s what I am telling myself right now. I don’t know what else to do. 

I’m lying in bed on this glorious day, just soaking up some good old relaxation. Going to try to dig further into Snow Flower and the Hidden Fan. Nap. Read. Nap. Read. You get the idea!

Cheers!